Man who grew up poor resents his daughter for marrying a rich man: ‘He feels like I don't know the value of money bc I never worked hard for it. He also thinks I don't deserve to enjoy things I can afford now’

Author image for Olivia Arocena
Olivia Arocena • Writer and Editor
Oct 2, 2026 6:35 PM EDT

It's less about convincing your dad that you worked hard and more about accepting that you don't have to work hard to enjoy what you have

This story is paradoxical. This father worked really hard to pull himself out of poverty and to give his children a life where they wouldn't have to fight so hard to be okay. Now he resents his children precisely because they didn't have to struggle so much as he did.

Although it sounds nonsensical, it's very common. Understandably, someone who spent his whole life fighting for money resents that his daughter doesn't even see money as hard to get. Of course, his daughter gets to live like this because of his merit, but I understand it makes him sad to think about all the times he struggled for something others deem so ordinary.

I believe the hurt this father feels is misdirected at his daughter; obviously, it is something he has to work through on his own. His daughter is not to blame.

Why does it matter so much if her father recognizes that she has grip as well? Obviously, she wants to be seen and appreciated by him, because the problem that they have isn't financial, it is emotional, and it's about inequality and opportunities in life.

The father's identity seems heavily organized around overcoming; he overcame poverty, and he achieved wealth. Sadly, there is no moral failure in being given something, which should not pass down guilt around privileges, so that's something his daughter will have to work through.

The most interesting question for me is whether she'll be able to tolerate the fact that her father might never give her the recognition she wants. To do that, he would have to let go of his identity, and that's too high a price. Growing up, in part, is learning that you can live without that recognition.

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  • Cheezburger Image 10668104448
    via Towfiqu barbhuiya

    From rags to riches

    Stock photography for depiction only

  • My dad (74M) resents me (35F) for having a rich husband. How do I talk to him about it?

    My dad is self-made. Grew up dirt poor from an ab ive household. He studied hard and worked hard to finally get to where he's at now financially. I'll always be grateful for the comfortable life he's given
    via cowabungalowvera
  • me and my brother. But bc of this comfortable life, I've never really had to struggle in my early life. I didn't work two jobs just to afford college. I finished school and then met my current husband who comes from a millionaire
    via cowabungalowvera
  • family. So I basically just moved from living a comfortable life bc of my dad, to living a very comfortable life bc of my husband. And now my dad resents me for it. He feels like I don't know
    via cowabungalowvera
  • the value of money bc I never worked hard for it. He also thinks I don't deserve to enjoy things I can afford now. He never congratulates me when something good happens to me. Even when I get promoted at work, he
    via cowabungalowvera
  • doesnt see it as "real" bc most of my money comes from my husband. But I still value my work very much even tho it doesnt contribute to the household finances as much as my husband's businesses. Yes my
    via cowabungalowvera
  • lifestyle has upgraded but I never asked for this, my husband just gave it to me. Now my relationship with my dad is fractured. We still have a loving relationship and he's very nice towards my husband. We just disagree in this
    via cowabungalowvera
  • issue about money and whether I deserve the life I have now. And it hurts whenever my he's vocal about his admiration for my brother who is a corporate lawyer and, in our dad's words, "worked hard for every single cent".
    via cowabungalowvera
  • Cheezburger Image 10668104704
    via Makeen M.Alaa

    The frustrated dad

    Not actual story subjects

  • I've spent years expressing gratitude towards all his efforts for our family, I never lacked gratitude. I also frankly never lacked grit and hard work. I work my a off in my career! But my husband's money seems
    via cowabungalowvera
  • to negate all that for my dad. How do I talk to my dad about this in a way that will make him understand? If not understand fully, maybe just lessen his resentment?
    via cowabungalowvera
  • Normal_Ostrich_6200 I don't understand. Work hard to give your kids a better life, and then be salty when they get it?
    via Normal_Ostrich_6200
  • Rounders_in_knickers I think this has more to do with your dad's trauma than with you.
    via Rounders_in_knickers
  • Cheezburger Image 10668104960
    via Sandy Millar

    Lucky to marry rich

    Scene shown is a visual representation

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family drama finance family feud family money
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